Persistence is one of those key Character traits necessary for one's likely success in life. Refusal to Give up, downright stubbornness, doggedness are all in the same stable and it is amazing how often people can be identified quite easily asto whether they have them or not. Yet we may have all these traits residing within us but not realise it.
Previous abuse of any kind can and does play havoc with the inner sense of self-worth. Those wrenching inner doubts caused by the abuse could have been dragged across the acutely sensitive parts of our very soul. The result would be that they left emotional scar tissue, seemingly handicapping us permanently. That can leave us feeling too worthless to try anything, let alone persist at it.
Yet no matter what form the abuse took and how hideous it was, it rarely damages permanently every aspect of ourselves or every opinion we hold about individual skills we have. It's true that sometimes, the nature of the abuse can leave us so seriously disabled in one part of our lives that we still do not feel able to give ourselves any credit at all for anything.
Todays thought is simply this: try reviewing your obvious skills and talents which undoubtedly you do have. These are ones related to things that most likely were in no way touched by the abuse. One by one, look at them more deeply. Didn't we acquire them in truth because we didn't listen to the inner voice about worthlessness. But much more important, don't we see that we did actually employ the very traits of persistence and doggedness to acquire those skills.
So they are there - inside you! What does that mean? How did they work when I thoought I was worthless and useless? Almost certainly they worked because we were doing things we really wanted to do. The power of our "wanting" was really what over-ruled and drowned out the voice of worthlessness.
So keep reminding yourself you are worthy and what happened reflected badly only on the perpetrator of the abuse. I hope that the gradual introspection will ease your pain and enable you to apply your existing persistence to these sensitive areas.
I wish you well
Gerry Neale
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About Me
- Gerry Neale
- I have been fascinated for years by the ever-increasing research data emerging on the ways we can pattern our thinking to our benefit or our loss. Often we do not realise we have done it or what triggered it. Its origins can lay in our childhood or in our more recent past.It can affect dramatically how we can cope with change, trauma or taking on a new role or starting a new business or activity. I am intrigued by the discovery of cognitive tools which adults can use to rid themselves of the effects of inhibiting behaviour. It can inhibit a person in their performance at work as well as at play. I write and mentor on these topics, tailoring cognitive solutions for people and seek to promote any person or institution doing the same thing. I have written a novel called "Squaring Circles: From The Dark Into The Light", which I am excited about and it was published in June 2011 in paperback.
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