I recently asked my blog readers what questions they would ask me if we had the chance to sit down and talk openly and freely. One of the more interesting (and brave) questions I got was from my sister who wanted to know if a history of infidelity in our family history led me to have a similar history in my first marriage.
My husband's reaction? He nearly peed himself laughing. My sister, meanwhile, was in knots over whether she offended me with her audacious query. My reaction?
Great question! And one I have often pondered.
My short answer is, "I'm not sure, but it sure looks like a karmic rollout to me."
I have a multigenerational line of marital unfaithfulness (not unlike a few, possibly many, of you, I might imagine), with tragic consequences in at least one instance. And, yes, I followed suit in my first marriage. Was that the result of karma or was I simply subtly socialized to think that behavior was okay?
Do questions like this diminish my responsibility for my actions or do they shed light on them?
Taking note of the family history of issues you find yourself struggling with does change your relationship with them. Yes, you could, if so inclined, simply point your finger and blame your parents, ancestors, or the Fates for your struggles. I hope you don't.
If you sincerely want to get a handle on your life where dysfunctional family patterns are concerned, you certainly can start by reflecting and acknowledging that you may well have been under the influence of powerful energies that tipped the balance in favor of you acting out this family pattern. It is possible the nature of the energies was such that you may not have even have realized they were working on you. (In my case, some of the family line were deceased before I was born, but I still was impacted by their stories.)
Once you've considered all this, remember:
Feeling yourself to be under the influence of "family karma" does NOT relieve you of responsibility for your actions.
In fact, it raises the level of importance that you DO take responsibility. How much of this weight is the next generation supposed to carry, after all? It doesn't matter if you have kids or not. Family energy can ripple in all kinds of directions. It would be naive and irresponsible for me to believe any negative pattern of behaviour on my part would have no effect on my nieces and nephews. They look up to me and I care about them.
You don't decide if you are a role model, the ones looking at you decide that.
Action you can take:
In your journal, write the chronology of this issue you are facing (infidelity, addiction, early loss of a loved one, etc) as you are aware of it in your family. Do this as objectively as you can, steering clear of blame and bitterness. Who knows where the first sin occurred? (Okay, Adam and Eve, we'll blame them.) You are simply tracing a thread in order to understand it. Is it a thick or thin thread? Long or short? Who tried to resist its pull and succeeded? Who tried and failed? Who gave in? How did the thread change as a result of how people responded to it? Did it get stronger or start to fray?
Your relationship is with the thread. Take everyone else out of the picture right now.
What do you want to do with the thread now that it is running through your life, as well?
If you are sincere in wanting to break the thread:
What kind of help will you need to do so? In what way is the thread seducing you? What does it represent? What pain comes with resisting it? Who do you need to recruit to help you?
All that insight is great. Now, when will you begin?
Laura Young, M.A. is a personal development coach specializing in helping individuals restructure their lives after significant loss or transition. With 25 years in personal development and doctoral training in counseling psychology, Laura has written extensively on such topics as stress management, motivation, finding one's life purpose, achieving life balance, cultivating a healthy lifestyle and improving communication in personal and professional relationships. Please visit her blog and website to tap in to her extensive resource base.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Laura_Young
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
Friday, 26 February 2010
Abuse Counselling? What and When to Tell
Counselling is supposed to be a private and confidential exercise with an independent and objective person. The vast majority of counsellors know that and respect it utterly. But for the person being counselled, that’s difficult to keep in mind. Yet, for us, is that all it is? I don’t think so.
As we contemplate the counselling session, and maybe the first one at that, we can be in torment inside. We try telling ourselves that our turmoil is all about our fear of what the counsellor might think of us when they hear it all. Will they believe us?
I believe two truths need to be exposed here.
The first is we need to ask whether we ourselves, not the counsellor, are ready to hear what we have to tell. Having maintained the secrecy so long, haven’t we been protected and insulated from our own memories. Don’t we sense a real inner reluctance and reticence about exhaling the emotional stench that has been buried deep inside us? Strong words, intentionally, but isn’t that how we can sense it? Also the worse the buried memories and the longer they have been hidden, don’t those words need to be stronger? Aren’t our answers: Yes. Yes and Yes?
Should this stop us in our counselling tracts? Good Gracious! No! We just need to admit that this is much more about admitting all this aloud to ourselves than about telling others.
Doesn’t this evoke awareness of a second truth?
Will I collapse emotionally in the face of all this? We can feel the emergence of fear from our sub-conscious. Somehow over all the years, we have managed to keep a semblance of emotional self-control. The fiercest feelings deep within us have been suppressed to enable us to try to live ordinary, if strained lives.
So, as we face this potential out-pouring, we are anxious, even in a sudden panic. If we let all this out now, exhale it, disgorge it, will we lose emotional control. Will it mean we can’t work; that we can’t face our family or our friends? The answer to that is that there may be some unpredictable and unaccountable moments when we lose it emotionally. But if we ask ourselves what is worse: that or continuing to burden ourselves with hideous secrets inside, what must be our response? It has to be OK to lose it occasionally.
And one final point: the abuse from which we suffered can indeed have been criminal in its nature at the time. But do remember the cause of the problem can have been entirely unintended by those we see as responsible, nevertheless. Key here is how we framed in our minds at the time what happened and what it has caused since.
And a tip: if initially the thought of trying to vocalise it all to the counsellor is going to be just too much for you, then try writing out your whole story and giving to the counsellor before the counselling starts. This will help them and will have a cathartic impact on you too.
Good luck and do take on board that the emotional gain and release from the process is worth 100 times the pain of getting started.
Sir Gerry Neale
As we contemplate the counselling session, and maybe the first one at that, we can be in torment inside. We try telling ourselves that our turmoil is all about our fear of what the counsellor might think of us when they hear it all. Will they believe us?
I believe two truths need to be exposed here.
The first is we need to ask whether we ourselves, not the counsellor, are ready to hear what we have to tell. Having maintained the secrecy so long, haven’t we been protected and insulated from our own memories. Don’t we sense a real inner reluctance and reticence about exhaling the emotional stench that has been buried deep inside us? Strong words, intentionally, but isn’t that how we can sense it? Also the worse the buried memories and the longer they have been hidden, don’t those words need to be stronger? Aren’t our answers: Yes. Yes and Yes?
Should this stop us in our counselling tracts? Good Gracious! No! We just need to admit that this is much more about admitting all this aloud to ourselves than about telling others.
Doesn’t this evoke awareness of a second truth?
Will I collapse emotionally in the face of all this? We can feel the emergence of fear from our sub-conscious. Somehow over all the years, we have managed to keep a semblance of emotional self-control. The fiercest feelings deep within us have been suppressed to enable us to try to live ordinary, if strained lives.
So, as we face this potential out-pouring, we are anxious, even in a sudden panic. If we let all this out now, exhale it, disgorge it, will we lose emotional control. Will it mean we can’t work; that we can’t face our family or our friends? The answer to that is that there may be some unpredictable and unaccountable moments when we lose it emotionally. But if we ask ourselves what is worse: that or continuing to burden ourselves with hideous secrets inside, what must be our response? It has to be OK to lose it occasionally.
And one final point: the abuse from which we suffered can indeed have been criminal in its nature at the time. But do remember the cause of the problem can have been entirely unintended by those we see as responsible, nevertheless. Key here is how we framed in our minds at the time what happened and what it has caused since.
And a tip: if initially the thought of trying to vocalise it all to the counsellor is going to be just too much for you, then try writing out your whole story and giving to the counsellor before the counselling starts. This will help them and will have a cathartic impact on you too.
Good luck and do take on board that the emotional gain and release from the process is worth 100 times the pain of getting started.
Sir Gerry Neale
Having Counselling? Three Simple Key Tests to Get The Best Results.
Having counselling help or counselling advice can be a daunting prospect. No matter why you are looking for counselling on how best to tackle anxiety, bereavement, or marital breakdown, or trauma of any kind, there are three painful dangers to be avoided. But there is good news! They can be avoided with huge benefits
So Key Test 1:
The first key test needs you to make a simple acknowledgement that you are prepared to own your problem and with help, gradually solving it as the counselling progresses.
A good counsellor should only mentor you and counsel you. They most definitely will not want take over your problem and seek to deal with it for you. (I will point you to where you can find one a good one relevant to your issue).
To reinforce the point totally, see a lawyer regarding a problem and he or she will not only advise you and help you, doing things on your behalf to alleviate your problem.
But that’s very different from psychological counselling. As the saying goes, we need to learn to stand on our own two feet, psychologically speaking.
So own your issue and its solution! Only then will you get the best result out of the sessions you have.
Key Test 2:
Having resolved to own your problem, it is then fundamentally important that you commit to embrace the psychology of counselling. Don’t sit waiting for the counsellor to tell you what you should do with your type of issue. What should happen is that you take the chance to hear what you yourself think and what you say aloud about your own issues.
Only then can the counsellor advise you on what best to focus on first and can you yourself get to work on reframing the situation in your mind.
Merely seeing someone professionally in the belief that the visit in itself will do the trick never works. It wastes your money and their time.
So, for each visit, go with the predominant thoughts and worries you have in your mind at that time and share them honestly and fully in the session.
And finally, Key Test 3:
This a trap one must avoid at all costs!
Don’t imagine you can just agree to occasional counselling sessions, never reflecting further in between and your problem will be solved. It won’t!
The truth is that if we want to make changes happen, then we can. But we have to treat the counselling sessions almost as psychological pit-stops, or cognitive refuelling stations. Vital is it that our time between the sessions is planned and allocated partly to thinking, partly to reading and even to talking with confidants where possible.
Change does not come in hourly sessions. It comes in a 24 / 7 commitment to draw on the vast and ever-growing reservoir of wisdom available to us and for us to adopt it into our thinking until it becomes positively habitual.in our behaviour.
So to conclude:
• Always own your problem and its solution, sharing it with your counsellor.
• Listen to what you think and say aloud about it, enabling the counsellor to
point you to the information you need to review.
• Plan time between sessions to think, to read and to share where possible.
I wish you the best of luck.
To find a counsellor go to www.counselling-directory.org.uk It is an excellent resource base.
Sir Gerry Neale has lectured and trained under-graduates and post graduates at the University of Westminster in cognitive thinking. He has mentored courses for corporate strategic planning and how to position the organisation’s thinking and that of the individuals employed by them. He has conducted counselling and life coaching programmes with individuals in person and on-line.
So Key Test 1:
The first key test needs you to make a simple acknowledgement that you are prepared to own your problem and with help, gradually solving it as the counselling progresses.
A good counsellor should only mentor you and counsel you. They most definitely will not want take over your problem and seek to deal with it for you. (I will point you to where you can find one a good one relevant to your issue).
To reinforce the point totally, see a lawyer regarding a problem and he or she will not only advise you and help you, doing things on your behalf to alleviate your problem.
But that’s very different from psychological counselling. As the saying goes, we need to learn to stand on our own two feet, psychologically speaking.
So own your issue and its solution! Only then will you get the best result out of the sessions you have.
Key Test 2:
Having resolved to own your problem, it is then fundamentally important that you commit to embrace the psychology of counselling. Don’t sit waiting for the counsellor to tell you what you should do with your type of issue. What should happen is that you take the chance to hear what you yourself think and what you say aloud about your own issues.
Only then can the counsellor advise you on what best to focus on first and can you yourself get to work on reframing the situation in your mind.
Merely seeing someone professionally in the belief that the visit in itself will do the trick never works. It wastes your money and their time.
So, for each visit, go with the predominant thoughts and worries you have in your mind at that time and share them honestly and fully in the session.
And finally, Key Test 3:
This a trap one must avoid at all costs!
Don’t imagine you can just agree to occasional counselling sessions, never reflecting further in between and your problem will be solved. It won’t!
The truth is that if we want to make changes happen, then we can. But we have to treat the counselling sessions almost as psychological pit-stops, or cognitive refuelling stations. Vital is it that our time between the sessions is planned and allocated partly to thinking, partly to reading and even to talking with confidants where possible.
Change does not come in hourly sessions. It comes in a 24 / 7 commitment to draw on the vast and ever-growing reservoir of wisdom available to us and for us to adopt it into our thinking until it becomes positively habitual.in our behaviour.
So to conclude:
• Always own your problem and its solution, sharing it with your counsellor.
• Listen to what you think and say aloud about it, enabling the counsellor to
point you to the information you need to review.
• Plan time between sessions to think, to read and to share where possible.
I wish you the best of luck.
To find a counsellor go to www.counselling-directory.org.uk It is an excellent resource base.
Sir Gerry Neale has lectured and trained under-graduates and post graduates at the University of Westminster in cognitive thinking. He has mentored courses for corporate strategic planning and how to position the organisation’s thinking and that of the individuals employed by them. He has conducted counselling and life coaching programmes with individuals in person and on-line.
Thursday, 25 February 2010
The Government Apology To 130000 People Sent To Australia
I confess I remain astonished at the low level and superficial coverage this story has been given by the Media. The Why's and Wherefor's of the history to this have escaped most people. The reasons why it was all stopped in 1970 and, at whose behest, would give us some better understanding at least as to what the institutional culture had been to have allowed in to continue prior to that for so many years.
Finding help for those back here in the UK the help they need now that the issue is recognised publicly. The inner turmoil and even grief that will have been released by all this is hard to imagine, but helping those in ways they want it, is vitally necessary if they are to live out the rest of their lives more happily.
Finding help for those back here in the UK the help they need now that the issue is recognised publicly. The inner turmoil and even grief that will have been released by all this is hard to imagine, but helping those in ways they want it, is vitally necessary if they are to live out the rest of their lives more happily.
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Children Shipped to Australia To Get Formal Apology, I should think so!
Children shipped to Australia with all the lies and deceit, only then to be compounded by the cruelty and abuse, was surely criminal?
As someone now of retirement age, I find it inconceivable that this process was still going on when I was young man and didn’t stop until I was 29.
The degree of emotional wreckage this must have caused to those involved must be off the Richter scale.
Those who suffered must be listened to and given the help they need.
But what does seem to me to be unavoidably true is that this process, conducted over so many years, eclipses those published abuses against children for which the Catholic Church was responsible.
This policy was known to National Governments and yet it still went on until 1970. And the discovery that children’s care charities knew about it and took part in it beggars belief!
Yes, we understand the cognitive effect of varying forms of abuse on children much better than we did 40 and more years ago. However we must all insist that the full details are made public. Only when the truth is out can we hope to help effectively those who were so abused and mislead.
That Gordon Brown is making an apology should be welcomed, but we should make certain that none of us allow knowingly any similar thing again either on a national or local basis
As someone now of retirement age, I find it inconceivable that this process was still going on when I was young man and didn’t stop until I was 29.
The degree of emotional wreckage this must have caused to those involved must be off the Richter scale.
Those who suffered must be listened to and given the help they need.
But what does seem to me to be unavoidably true is that this process, conducted over so many years, eclipses those published abuses against children for which the Catholic Church was responsible.
This policy was known to National Governments and yet it still went on until 1970. And the discovery that children’s care charities knew about it and took part in it beggars belief!
Yes, we understand the cognitive effect of varying forms of abuse on children much better than we did 40 and more years ago. However we must all insist that the full details are made public. Only when the truth is out can we hope to help effectively those who were so abused and mislead.
That Gordon Brown is making an apology should be welcomed, but we should make certain that none of us allow knowingly any similar thing again either on a national or local basis
Sunday, 21 February 2010
No Means No Read Timesonline Article Today
To say No means no is a very difficult challenge to todays parents of young children. Any parent should read Daisy Goodwin's excellent article in todays Sunday Times entitled No Means No - Oh Well, all right, yes then. Anything for a quiet life.
It sums up the dilemma almost all parents of young children and those racing into teenagers feel. Guiding and mentoring children peacibly simply is not possible 100% of the time. Their behaviour and intentions have to be corrected or restrained from time to time.
Daisy Goodwin refers to the book "Saying No: Why It's Important For You And Your Child",by Asha Phillips which is a must-read if we are to avoid the possibility of a generation of children reaching adulthood with the conviction that they can do as they want when they want.
To assert that such parents could be guilty of child abuse simply because they avoid correcting their children at all in order to keep the peace in the family household, could in todays terms seem far fetched. Yet without the acknowledgement referred to the article of two key features of child - rearing, we will be in real trouble. Families, it points out, are not democracies, they are hierarchies and as a result parents should constantly strive to hold the high ground of authority.
The second key feature is, as stated, the need to lay down boundaries of behaviour. From the earliest moments of life for a child it begins testing out its boundaries and especially testing the boundaries its parents are committed to. Forget this inborn quest in our young and fail to provide boundaries by showing No Means No, and we create enormous problems for ourselves. Worse we lay the seeds of considerable confusion in the child once an independent adult at to how effectively they relate to others and how they themselves nuture their own children.
The IBSN for the book is 0-571-19352-8
It sums up the dilemma almost all parents of young children and those racing into teenagers feel. Guiding and mentoring children peacibly simply is not possible 100% of the time. Their behaviour and intentions have to be corrected or restrained from time to time.
Daisy Goodwin refers to the book "Saying No: Why It's Important For You And Your Child",by Asha Phillips which is a must-read if we are to avoid the possibility of a generation of children reaching adulthood with the conviction that they can do as they want when they want.
To assert that such parents could be guilty of child abuse simply because they avoid correcting their children at all in order to keep the peace in the family household, could in todays terms seem far fetched. Yet without the acknowledgement referred to the article of two key features of child - rearing, we will be in real trouble. Families, it points out, are not democracies, they are hierarchies and as a result parents should constantly strive to hold the high ground of authority.
The second key feature is, as stated, the need to lay down boundaries of behaviour. From the earliest moments of life for a child it begins testing out its boundaries and especially testing the boundaries its parents are committed to. Forget this inborn quest in our young and fail to provide boundaries by showing No Means No, and we create enormous problems for ourselves. Worse we lay the seeds of considerable confusion in the child once an independent adult at to how effectively they relate to others and how they themselves nuture their own children.
The IBSN for the book is 0-571-19352-8
Thursday, 18 February 2010
Patricia Is Free From Physical Pain After Dealing With Childhood Abuse! By Olivia Stefanino Olivia Stefanino
Patricia - an accountant with her own practice - had been suffering with a painful shoulder for nearly three years. With her prescribed pain-killers becoming less effective, she had visited her consultant again - but had been dismayed when he'd told her that her only option was a potentially dangerous operation. Not keen on the odds, Patricia had decided to go down the "alternative" route, which is how she came to be sitting in my office.
As soon as Patricia had walked through the door, I felt an immense sadness - coupled with the feeling that something traumatic had happened in her past. As I poured her a coffee, I asked Patricia if she felt weighed down by responsibility in her life. "Absolutely," she said, "as well as the practice, I also run the family home single-handed and make sure that my elderly parents are looked after too. Why do you ask?"
I explained that the mind and body are very strongly connected - and that very often issues that have psychological roots express themselves as pain or problems within the body. "Curiously," I told her, "the body tends to speak in puns. For example people who have difficulty expressing themselves often develop ailments around their throat - which is the area we associate with communication and free speech." Leaning forward in her seat, Patricia looked at me with an intense gaze and softly asked what problem shoulders signified. "It could be one of several things," I replied, "but it's amazing how often shoulder problems seem to be connected with 'shouldering' too much responsibility."
Patricia agreed that the concept made sense - but as I looked deep in her eyes, I had the overwhelming sense that we needed to explore deeper into the pain. I asked Patricia to close her eyes and talked her into a deep state of relaxation. Then, drawing on the techniques used by the ancient shamans, I asked Patricia - in her mind's eye - to travel into her shoulder and describe what she could see. "I see a black pyramid - with a lid." I asked her if it would be safe to remove the lid from the pyramid and as she nodded her response, I directed her to do so.
Immediately Patricia began to sob. After five minutes or so her tears started to subside - and still in a light state of trance she began to talk about how her father had both sexually and physically abused her as a little girl. The tears started again as she recalled her terror. I asked Patricia if she was prepared to do whatever was necessary to free her shoulder from pain. Again she nodded, and together we went through a psycho-dynamic exercise in which she eventually chose to forgive her father, while of course not condoning his actions. Patricia had been quick to realise that only she was being affected by the past, not her father - and that forgiving her father would be her pathway through to freedom.
As we finished the exercise, I asked Patricia to revisit the black pyramid. "Oh," she said, "its smaller now - but its still there." Once again she began to cry, this time more softly. Her voice was heavy when she started to speak. "I have never told anyone about the abuse as I didn't want the family to break up and I thought no one would believe me anyway. But now I'm frightened for my daughters - they don't know what their grandfather is capable of doing and it would hurt them dreadfully if I shattered their image of him. I have tried so hard to make sure that I am always in the room whenever we go to visit him, just so they are protected."
Suddenly I began to understand the real message from her shoulder. Patricia was shouldering the responsibility for protecting her daughters - and her father. But she had left herself out of the equation and now her mind was asking her - through her shoulder pain - to deal with the situation. Adamant that she couldn't tell her daughters the horrible truth, I knew that she had to be shocked into seeing the potential disaster that lay ahead if she kept quiet. "How will you feel if you discover that one of your daughters has been abused by your father - knowing that you could have prevented the situation by being honest?"
A shocked silence lay heavy in the room. "You're right - but it's going to be very hard." I brought Patricia out of her light state of hypnosis and together we worked out a plan for telling her daughters in a way that would protect them but not frighten them.
Patricia left my office looking as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She called me a week later to say that her shoulder pain had eased considerably - and that she was sleeping better than she had for years. A further update a month later revealed that she had gently warned her daughters without going into too much detail - and that her shoulder pain had gone entirely!
Olivia Stefanino is a leadership consultant, speaker and author of the internationally acclaimed management book, "Be Your Own Guru". Interviewed on more than 25 radio stations and featured in "The Guardian", "Natural Health" & "Red", Olivia is a guest columnist for a number of national and international publications. Download your fr*ee e-booklet, "128 ways to harness your personal power!" by visiting http://www.beyourownguru.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Olivia_Stefanino
Olivia Stefanino - EzineArticles Expert Author
As soon as Patricia had walked through the door, I felt an immense sadness - coupled with the feeling that something traumatic had happened in her past. As I poured her a coffee, I asked Patricia if she felt weighed down by responsibility in her life. "Absolutely," she said, "as well as the practice, I also run the family home single-handed and make sure that my elderly parents are looked after too. Why do you ask?"
I explained that the mind and body are very strongly connected - and that very often issues that have psychological roots express themselves as pain or problems within the body. "Curiously," I told her, "the body tends to speak in puns. For example people who have difficulty expressing themselves often develop ailments around their throat - which is the area we associate with communication and free speech." Leaning forward in her seat, Patricia looked at me with an intense gaze and softly asked what problem shoulders signified. "It could be one of several things," I replied, "but it's amazing how often shoulder problems seem to be connected with 'shouldering' too much responsibility."
Patricia agreed that the concept made sense - but as I looked deep in her eyes, I had the overwhelming sense that we needed to explore deeper into the pain. I asked Patricia to close her eyes and talked her into a deep state of relaxation. Then, drawing on the techniques used by the ancient shamans, I asked Patricia - in her mind's eye - to travel into her shoulder and describe what she could see. "I see a black pyramid - with a lid." I asked her if it would be safe to remove the lid from the pyramid and as she nodded her response, I directed her to do so.
Immediately Patricia began to sob. After five minutes or so her tears started to subside - and still in a light state of trance she began to talk about how her father had both sexually and physically abused her as a little girl. The tears started again as she recalled her terror. I asked Patricia if she was prepared to do whatever was necessary to free her shoulder from pain. Again she nodded, and together we went through a psycho-dynamic exercise in which she eventually chose to forgive her father, while of course not condoning his actions. Patricia had been quick to realise that only she was being affected by the past, not her father - and that forgiving her father would be her pathway through to freedom.
As we finished the exercise, I asked Patricia to revisit the black pyramid. "Oh," she said, "its smaller now - but its still there." Once again she began to cry, this time more softly. Her voice was heavy when she started to speak. "I have never told anyone about the abuse as I didn't want the family to break up and I thought no one would believe me anyway. But now I'm frightened for my daughters - they don't know what their grandfather is capable of doing and it would hurt them dreadfully if I shattered their image of him. I have tried so hard to make sure that I am always in the room whenever we go to visit him, just so they are protected."
Suddenly I began to understand the real message from her shoulder. Patricia was shouldering the responsibility for protecting her daughters - and her father. But she had left herself out of the equation and now her mind was asking her - through her shoulder pain - to deal with the situation. Adamant that she couldn't tell her daughters the horrible truth, I knew that she had to be shocked into seeing the potential disaster that lay ahead if she kept quiet. "How will you feel if you discover that one of your daughters has been abused by your father - knowing that you could have prevented the situation by being honest?"
A shocked silence lay heavy in the room. "You're right - but it's going to be very hard." I brought Patricia out of her light state of hypnosis and together we worked out a plan for telling her daughters in a way that would protect them but not frighten them.
Patricia left my office looking as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She called me a week later to say that her shoulder pain had eased considerably - and that she was sleeping better than she had for years. A further update a month later revealed that she had gently warned her daughters without going into too much detail - and that her shoulder pain had gone entirely!
Olivia Stefanino is a leadership consultant, speaker and author of the internationally acclaimed management book, "Be Your Own Guru". Interviewed on more than 25 radio stations and featured in "The Guardian", "Natural Health" & "Red", Olivia is a guest columnist for a number of national and international publications. Download your fr*ee e-booklet, "128 ways to harness your personal power!" by visiting http://www.beyourownguru.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Olivia_Stefanino
Olivia Stefanino - EzineArticles Expert Author
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